When We Try to Say Everything, Parents Hear Nothing: The One-Message Strategy Every Jewish Leader Needs

Jewish leaders often overwhelm parents with too much information. This blog explores the One-Question Rule: a simple framework that helps schools and organizations communicate clearly so families walk away with what truly matters.

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A mentor once told me something I’ll never forget: “Never walk into a meeting with an agenda of three. When you focus on one, you actually have a chance of achieving it.”

At the time, I thought she was giving me simple business advice. But the longer I work in Jewish schools and organizations, the more I realize: That advice is the foundation of every effective communication strategy we have — from open houses to gift bags to social media to fundraising pitches.

Choose the one thing you want them to remember.

And nowhere is this clearer than in a preschool reel I saw recently.

The Reel That Tried to Say Too Much

A beautiful preschool shared a series of heartfelt photos:

• A child diapering a baby doll

• Pretend the soup is being stirred

• Children wrapped in play tzitzit

• Little ones comforting each other

• Imagination blooming in every corner

Each moment was rich with learning:

• Empathy

• Imagination

• Care

• Responsibility

• Emotional processing

• Role play

• Rine-motor development

• Connection

But each clip carried its own text…its own message…its own storyline. Instead of one story, it had six.

And the result? The meaning vanished.

Not because the teacher didn’t capture depth — she did. But because parents (and all humans) cannot absorb ten messages at once.

When we try to show everything, people experience nothing.

This Happens Everywhere in Jewish Leadership

Once I saw it in the reel, I noticed it everywhere.

In gift bags at open houses

We include: A school calendar, a Chanukah coloring book, a branded magnet, a flyer, a bookmark, a snack, a brochure, a sticker sheet, a thank-you card…

But parents don’t walk away thinking: “What a thoughtful school.”

They think: “What am I supposed to do with all this?”

And once they’re home, tired, busy, juggling kids and mail and dinner, they have to decide:

• What to keep

• What to toss

• What’s important

• What feels like clutter

And when we overload them, we risk them doing the easiest thing of all: Throwing everything out, including the one thing we hoped they’d see.

We wasted the opportunity to reinforce the message that actually matters.

This is why every gift bag, welcome packet, take-home item, and open house giveaway must answer one question: “What’s the one message we want them to see — and actually keep?”

In school tours

We talk about: warmth, academics, middot, Hebrew, teachers, diversity, community, STEM, clubs, alumni success, sports…

And parents leave holding onto one thing, so we need to be very intentional about what that one thing is. Every Jewish school can say they have strong academics, warm teachers, Hebrew, community, values, enrichment, and extracurriculars. Those aren’t differentiators anymore.

So when a family comes for a tour, the real question is: What is the one feeling, belief, or truth you want them to walk away with that they cannot get anywhere else?

That’s the message the entire tour has to reinforce.

In fundraising, we over-explain every impact story rather than guiding donors toward a clear purpose.

In our presentations, we want to show depth, so we share every detail, only to dilute the message.

On social media, we cram every layer of meaning into a single post, and parents swipe past without feeling the heart.

The One-Question Rule

Every form of communication, a gift bag, a speech, a reel, a tour, has a different purpose, and each one needs its own guiding question to stay focused.

Because when we don’t choose the question, we can’t control how our audience receives it. 

Here’s what that looks like:

• One gift bag: What’s the one message we want parents actually to notice and remember? (And does every item support that?)

• One meeting: What’s the one thing I need this person to understand? (Not three goals. Not five updates. One truth.)

• One school tour: What is the one value parents must feel by the time they leave? (And does every story, stop, and moment reinforce it?)

• One open house: What’s the one belief we want families to walk away with?

• One social media post: What is the one idea I’m trying to communicate?

• One fundraising pitch: What is the one transformation I want them to invest in?

When we choose the question, the message becomes clear,  the moment becomes meaningful, and the experience becomes intentional.

Everything else becomes scaffolding, supporting, not distracting.

Jewish Life Is Layered. Our Messaging Can’t Be.

Jewish programs are full of depth: values, heart, education, ritual, inspiration, community, belonging. But our communication cannot be, because people don’t remember everything; they remember only what was framed for them.

When we don’t choose the frame, the recipient decides it for us, and not always in our favor.

A Better, Clearer, Kinder Way Forward

Before your next open house, tour, meeting, speech, parlor event, social media post, gift bag, video, fundraiser, or even a WhatsApp update, ask yourself: What is the one question this moment needs to answer? What do I want them to: feel? Believe? Understand? Walk away with? Carry with them?

Once you choose that question, everything else becomes easy.

It becomes obvious what to include. And just as important, what to remove.

Clarity isn’t about making something smaller. Clarity is about making something land.

The Advice That Inspired Everything for Me

My mentor was right. When you walk into a meeting with three agendas, you accomplish none of them. When you walk in with one, you actually move the needle.

The same is true in Jewish leadership.

Our programs can be layered. Our content can be rich. Our experiences can be profound.

But the message?

The message should always be simple enough to hold in one hand

And meaningful to hold in the heart.